Forever means forever. Not just for a moment in time, but until the end of time. Through the good and bad. Certain times may seem rough but we get through it. Or so I thought we would. Lies and broken promises fill me up with hate, and all I can do is wonder, whether the decisions I have made reflect who I really am.
He was my everything. All I could ever think about and all I had ever dreamt about.
When hurt kicks in. A heart can break; or so they say. I never believed that. Never believed in broken hearts. Now experiencing it first hand has showed me that a heart can break. It can be shattered, and in a situation like the one now, I can't find all the pieces. Does he have them? He did steal my heart after all. Apparently he returned it. He didn't want it. He didn't want me anymore. I was left abandoned and with a feeling of hate, bitterness and rejection. A feeling like none other, that no one can fix. I try to pick up the pieces but they're all lost, in an abyss that are my tears. I wipe them off my face but they just keep running down. Regardless of the security and comfort that I have been receiving, my life feels like its spiraling out of control and as the pilot of my own life and I have the directions. As of now, I need a map. a guide. I need God. In the end He will prevail. Maybe this was for the better. So I could focus on God. So I could spend more time with Him. I will do that now, and ask Him for peace, and for forgiveness. Because after all, He will give it to me...
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