looking for love.

Well I'll start off with this. I don't exactly know if anyone is actually reading this or my blog in general but it's a good way to get my thoughts and my emotions down. Instead of keeping them locked up, I enjoy expressing myself. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the whole idea of love. What is love? I've been through a couple bad experiences this year but in the scheme of things they're just rough edges. They're just speed bumps in the road of life, that help me slow down and take a breath, as I'm traveling down it.
Anyways. love. My mom loves me. My dad loves me. My brother loves me. Yet, I've been feeling so alone lately. Back throughout my first semester in college, guilt, and hate were consistently in my life. I wanted to move on from that. I eventually did, but I recently I have felt these feelings come back. Hate for my ex. Guilt about dumb things in my life. To be honest I've been looking for love. I haven't been acting upon it in anyway, but just trying to find a crush and see where it goes, or trying to hang out with as many guys as possible. It doesn't even begin there. I have been a tease. I flirt, and completely shut a guy down. How is this me? This isn't who I was. It was who I was becoming though. I was down a road that was leading me astray. Astray from God, from everything He has to offer.
These past couple of days I have realized that I don't need a guy in my life. I need God. He has the love that I want, the only love that I truly need. He is the only one that is sufficient for me.
All in all, I'm done looking for guys.

Jennifermichelle*